Remembered

I chanced on a Pinoy forum today while looking for online records of titles of my past research publications and student awards--- I'm updating my dusty old CV, otherwise I wouldn't even bother looking them up! Well, I never bothered to remember them or chronicle them properly in the first place, and I left all my academic stuff back home, which is why I now have to find their titles elsewhere.

So after searching my desktop and my files, I finally decided to do the most obvious thing in the world--- I Googled my maiden name. The links that came up! Wow. I couldn't resist skimming through this site called mabuhaybeauties.com where one Pinoy gentleman named me as his choice for most intelligent Binibining Pilipinas winner! I was floored, I tell you. Anyway, I posted back, and I suppose half of them won't believe it's really me, hehe, but I needed to thank him for his nice compliment, at any rate. It felt nice to be remembered, even for something as ancient as my stint in the Binibining Pilipinas pageant.

And although I've never really thought of myself as a "beauty queen," and have never let the term define me, my identity, my choices or my relationships, I realise that I am who I am today because of EVERYTHING in my past, and that I should love and accept myself for who I am, and for all that God has allowed to happen in my life.

We spent the weekend playing with our little boys in the garden-- jumping on the little bouncy castle, playing crazy bowling, sliding down into a pool of balls, bouncing around on big balls all over the grass. Such pure, childlike joy! Such uncomplicated pleasures! B squealed with laughter as he played with O. And today, my two-year-old E plucked a tiny yellow flower from the ground, toddled up to me and quietly put it into my hand. I will never forget how his eyes looked at me as he did that. Moments like those make it all matter.